Yesterday was one of those days. A going-through-the-motion day. A why-bother day.
A Zombie Day.
I confess: as a parent, there are just some days I feel like checking out. My eyes glaze over and zombieness sets in. I'd like to blame my kids for that effect. I mean, when you feel like you are teaching/raising/pouring your entire life into a few zombies instead of children, you kinda start feeling like a zombie, too.
So, if you see me walking by and my arms are sticking straight out in front of me, and my tongue is hanging out, and there's a strange sound coming out of my mouth like, blahhhhhhhhhhhhh, you know it's been one of those days.
Green Tea Fraps and mint or peanut m&ms are known to snap me out of zombieness in case you wanted to know. ;)
Seriously though, I know I can't blame my kids when I resort to zombie parenting. It's up to me to set the example for them - not the other way around. So, how can I snap out of it?
*Well, sleep helps. I don't always have control over this one, being an insomniac and all, but it's amazing how a good night's sleep can refresh the mind and spirit and hopefully restore some brain cells that died during the zombie state. (Thankful I slept better last night!)
*Acknowledging the source helps. Me, the source of my behavior is me. I need to realize that my "zombie behavior" stems from the fact that I am not getting something that I want. I want my kids to be happy about getting up and being homeschooled, I want them to be cheerful, content, loving, nice. I want them to care about making good grades and working hard. I can't completely control my kids' feelings and behavior, but I can control mine. *Sigh.* I admit, though, sometimes I want to give in and check out . . . which leads me to my next 2 and most important points!
*Meditating on God's Word helps. Purposefully quieting my spirit and letting the Holy Spirit bring to mind verses that have been hidden in my heart truly refresh and renew the mind. (Unlike the afore mentioned sugar-loaded treats. Not that they don't make me happy for a few minutes, though!)
*Applying God's Word helps. Denying myself. Serving others in love. Bearing fruits of the Spirit. Conducting myself in a manner worthy of the Gospel no matter what happens. Realizing I am not here for me; I am here to bring God glory. Rejoicing in the Lord always. Thinking about pure, lovely, and admirable things.
Seriously, denying my flesh and letting the Holy Spirit work in and through me is the only way I am going to get through this parenting thing without turning into a zombie!
As I was dusting my room today, I noticed a few things that made me smile and reminded me of how truly wonderful it is to be a parent. (At least most days, anyway.)
By my side of the bed, I keep special things made by each one of my kids. For Mother's day when he was just a little guy, Mullin made me that green cross. Shiloh drew and colored that bright, beautiful flower all by herself. Lincoln fashioned me a blue rose out of duct tape. The paper flowers in the jar were given to me by Shiloh, and even the dried flowers inside the jar are from years of collecting and drying all the flowers my kids have given to me. I won't win any decorating contests, but these items are so precious to me!
I found this piece of paper on my hubby's nightstand. It's a little difficult to read, but it says, "Can we go Crismas shoping later . . . yes or no . . . cercl" So sweet! Shiloh drew this picture because she wanted her daddy to take her Christmas shopping to buy presents for her brothers and me. This little piece of paper is just a sampling of ALL the papers my kids draw for their dad - they LOVE to ask him questions by drawing something and having him circle yes or no. I can't tell you how many times they've drawn pictures of McDonald's or pizza! Sweet memories. :)
*Originally posted on November 14, 2012. I couldn't resist using this for my Z post, though. :) I am glad I read it again as it was a great reminder for me!
For more Z posts visit Ben and Me!